Friday, July 25, 2014

Remembering My Mom

Today I remember my mother, Anne, who passed away four years ago.  I can't believe it has been four years.  It seems like she was just here with us.  Time has a way of passing far too quickly.

Before I left home, my mother and I became pretty close.  I was still living at home after I returned from university.  We had great talks.  We spent Saturdays together doing things like going to the museum, to the mall, and most definitely for lunch.  We had a great relationship.

I left home in 1998.  It wasn't just moving down the street.  I left my home in Canada to be with Ron in Texas.  No longer were my mother and I physically close, but we still maintained a great relationship.  We talked on the phone regularly.

I got married back home in 2000.  My mother was planning a trip to visit me in August 2001.  I wound up in the hospital with severe pre-eclampsia while she was en route to Texas by plane.  Instead of being picked up by Ron or myself, I believe it was my mother in law who did.  I was not in good shape at all.  I was transferred to a larger hospital.  My care was handed over to a high risk OB/Gyn.  My mother sat with me as my blood pressure spiked to levels she never ever shared with me.  I still don't know.  I do know that the top number was in the 200s.  My mother was with Ron and when we lost our first baby.

Mom stayed with me after the funeral and my parents were there when I developed a severe life-threatening pulmonary embolism just two weeks after losing our child.  She stayed with me for a while I came home.  She was there with me as I lay on the couch recuperating while the events of 9/11 unfolded live on television right before our eyes.

My mom was with me the day I miscarried our second baby in 2003.  I remember joking with her some time after the fact that she needed to stop visiting me when I was pregnant!  

Mom was there when Moira came into this world in 2004.  I was so nervous about daycare.  I hate the fact that there is really no such thing as "maternity leave" in the U.S.  I had 7 weeks of "disability" after Moira was born.  Instead of resorting to daycare, my mom stayed with us for three months after Moira was born.  She was a preemie and I had to go to work.  My mom filled a need for us that was more appreciated than you could imagine.

Mom was with me when Peyton was born in 2006.  She was in the delivery room with Ron and I.  I had a special bond with her and I wanted to have her present for that experience.  I am so glad I did that.

My mom passed away on July 25, 2010.  Peyton passed away on May 4, 2013, and I am sure my mom was right there welcoming her home on that day.

I miss my mom more than words can say.  The pain has lessened, but this loss has been huge for me.  I'd give anything to pick up the phone and call her just to hear her voice again.  I know there are many painful events listed above, but it just shows how she was there for me at every critical point of my life while she was here.

I hope that I will be as good a mom as she was to me.

Missing and remembering my mom today.

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