Wednesday, January 8, 2014

My 500 Words: Day 8 - This Writing Thing

This month I've been working on a writing challenge that writer Jeff Goins put out there.  The goal is to write 500 words a day.  I've met that goal for a week and am actually at 5,695 words for the month prior to writing this post.  That doesn't include a couple blog posts I already had in the pipeline for the first few days of January which were written and scheduled before I learned about this challenge.

I've been blogging here for a few years now.  I've been on a journey and I have a story which I have been telling you over time.  The journey is far from over, but my journey was that of caregiving 24/7.  I am also a wife and mother among many other things.  Writing about this has been a way to express my feelings.  Sharing our struggles as well as our blessings has done much for me.

I find myself stuck.  I'm continuing on my journey, but the course of that journey shifted dramatically when we lost Peyton.  There is no caregiving to draw inspiration from anymore in terms of writing.  It is like I am existing in this "in between" place, no longer needed for one role yet not yet having found what my next role is.  I am existing day to day coping with my own grief as well as dealing with the illness and injury I have been struck with over the past few months or so.  I've become a dependent.  I can't do most of the things I would like to do and it leaves me feeling frustrated.

You'd think that the one thing I might be able to manage time for lately is writing.  It doesn't require weight-bearing.  In fact, I could prop myself up in bed and write to my heart's content right now.  Yet I can't because I'm lacking in the drive and motivation and the inspiration right now.  This is why I jumped on board with this writing challenge.  500 words doesn't usually seem too daunting for me, as I tend to be more on the wordy side.  In truth, it can be quite challenging.  Coming up with a topic is tough.  I thought about a topic for this post all day and came up with nothing!

I find myself right now writing about being stuck in my writing.  It's more of an exercise for me than anything.  I highly doubt the words on this screen are going to inspire anyone to go out and change the world!  That statement actually assumes that anyone actually came here today!  I shared yesterday about beauty.  Just as I can be my own worst critic in the area of appearance, so it is with my writing as well.

I am engaging in writing because I want the discipline of setting daily goals to write something.  I want to become a better writer.  I have loftier goals than that, but in order to achieve them, I think I need to start here.  So bear with me.  The journey's not over.  A new one is on the horizon.

{if you're counting - that was 517 words for my eighth My 500 Words post, for a total of 6,212 this month!}
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