Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Two Years / Into the Word Wednesdays - v. 6

Today is the second anniversary of my mom's passing.  Honestly, I wanted to write a really great tribute post in her memory, but there has been so much stuff going on with us personally that I am just spent.  I can't do it right now.  I wrote a post last year which probably sums up everything that I'd want to share, so you can read that here.  Last month, I wrote a grief letter.  That really summed up how I am doing in my grief and healing process as of last month.  Probably not much has changed.  Please read those if you wish.  I had many wonderful comments on the grief letter.  Perhaps it can be of help to you if you find yourself struggling with grief issues.

I attended my weekly grief support group last night.  I hadn't been in a few weeks because of Peyton's illness, so it was really great to go back and be among that group of supporters, especially considering the meeting was the night before my mom's anniversary.  A poem was shared at the end of the meeting that had everyone in tears.  I'm sure this isn't it, but it kind of captured the same spirit of that poem, so I'm sharing this one with you {until I can figure out which one it actually was!}:

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me - David Romano

If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you care for me, and how much I care for you,
and each time that you think of me I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do.
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I'd say goodbye and hug you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realised that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you,
Today your life on earth is past but here it's starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last.
and since each day's the same, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting, so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.
And you have been forgiven and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand and share my life with me?"
So if tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, please know I'm in your heart.
David Romano

Today is meant to be the Into The Word Wednesday link up.  I've been struggling this week.  It's been a very difficult one for me - mostly relating to Peyton and her health and our home nursing situation.  In my head, I know that God is faithful and I know He will provide.  I will get through this and it will be ok, but right now, it's so hard.  My heart knows these things, but it's overwhelming me and I am having difficulty saying that this will pass and all will be well and move on with a smile on my face.  For now I will try to cling to this verse:

Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I would LOVE it if you linked up with a post about what God is showing you in the Word, or in your life. Please also stop by and see what God has been teaching my beautiful co-hosts this week: 

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes
Kelly at The Houtz House Party
Falen at Upward Not Inward 
Kelly at Exceptionalistic
Sarah at Fontenot Four {you're already here!}

Into The Word Wednesdays

Into the Word Wednesday Blog Hop Rules:
1. Write a post about what God is teaching you this week.
2.  Follow the host and hostess. 
3. Grab a button to put on your blog - the more the merrier!
4. Check out (and comment) other people's blogs and be blessed by all the sisters and brothers around the world!


1 comment:

  1. Sweet Sarah, Thank you for sharing your heart. the best encouragement I can give you today is that you are NOT alone. How interesting that we seem to be going through similiar emotions. Praise God that He allows us sisters who can walk with us.

    I am so blessed by our friendship


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