Friday, February 17, 2012

Weary



When Peyton is in the hospital, I am with her constantly.
From the time we leave the house to head to the ER,
to the time we leave the hospital to head home -
whether it's one day or ten -
I am with her.

It took me several hospitalizations with her to even set foot outside her room!
I wouldn't even head down the hall for water.
I'm still that bad,
although sometimes I do head upstairs when they offer the free family dinners.

I update people.
I read.
I sit with her.
I pray.
I'm just...here.

I wouldn't be anywhere else.
That's just how it is.

But it is draining.
My spirit gets a little weary.
I am tired.

Ron and Moira get up here for brief visits.
But I'm not at home.
And I am missing out on life with them.

I wouldn't be anywhere else.
But I am missing things.
I missed Moira's soccer practice Wednesday night.
I missed Sisterhood mornings yesterday.
I am missing the opportunity to be at a conference at church tonight and tomorrow morning.
I am missing Moira's first soccer game of the season tomorrow afternoon.
I may wind up missing church this weekend.

Knowing all of that can bring me down just a bit.
I know this hospital stay may be for another couple days.
And I wouldn't be anywhere else.
Peyton needs me here.

It's one of those times when I have to just be still and wait.
Wait on God.
Wait for improvement in Peyton enough to get her home.

Through the waiting, I pray.
I think.
And I do my best to try not to let all those things get me down.
Because that could take me to a really depressing place.

So I try to just reassure myself that this is just a bump in the road,
and that our life outside the walls of this hospital will resume shortly.

In the meantime, please pray with me that Peyton continues to improve 
so we can get back to that life.

Thank you so much friends!

Source: google.com via Sarah on Pinterest
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