Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Patiently Awaiting God's Answer

Last week I wrote a post entitled "At a Loss
in which I discussed a recent development with Peyton's main home nurse -
that she was in a desperate bind to get her hours and her full wages,
causing her to decide that she may just have to leave us to take on a new patient
where she'd have the full 40 hours she needs
as well as the four 10-hour shifts a week she desires.

I'm simply posting this to say that nothing has changed.
There's been no development.
There's been no answer.

You know, I spent that entire day in tears because of what this could mean for our family.
I was completely at a loss as to what we should do.
I prayed that we would not wind up losing her.
I prayed mostly for clarity - I needed to know how to handle this.
I know the nurse's reasoning behind her decision was based on finances
and not that she loved Peyton or our family any less.
But I needed clarity.

I slept on it.
I woke up the next morning and my head felt clear.
I felt like I knew what we needed to do.
We needed to offer the nurse the option to have those four 10-hour shifts a week, 
giving her her 40 hours,
and giving her her weekends off.
This would result in huge sacrifice for our family that extends beyond your awareness.
I did suggest to Ron that he ask that she consider giving us one...maybe two...weekend day{s} a month.
I felt clear that this is a sacrifice we had to make in order to keep this nurse who we love dearly.

I threw out the fleece.

I don't know that I did that on purpose, but I laid it out.
I thought to myself:
If the nurse showed up in a particular set of scrubs that morning, 
then I'd know to offer this option to her
and all would be well.

As quickly as the thought of "throwing out the fleece" entered my mind,
I dismissed it.
I thought to myself, "that's ridiculous".  I can't base a life-altering decision on
the particular pair of scrubs a nurse wears!

Can I??

Honestly, I didn't think anything more of that thought until the nurse arrived a short time later.

In that pair of scrubs.

Ok...so I went to Ron.
I said to go for it.  Make this offer to her.
I'm thinking, it's all gonna turn out alright.

Right??

No.

Well, not exactly.
Not yet.

Ron and the nurse talked a while.
At the end of the conversation, there's more she needs to discuss with the agency.
It's not a done deal.
But it's not sounding all that hopeful.
We're waiting.

Patiently waiting.

I've heard that God answers prayers in one of three ways.
Yes.  No.  Wait.

We are waiting.

I don't know what this means.
I don't know about the whole "fleece" thing.
Unlike Gideon, I didn't lay out the fleece a second time.
I'm just trusting that God has an answer.

Our pastor often says that God is at work on a solution before you even know there is a problem.
Wise words.
I'm certain this must be so.
I'm certain that it's just taking a while to iron out the details of this solution
so that we can be blessed with the best solution for our family's needs.

I don't want to lose that nurse.
I truly don't.

But it may mean that I need to develop more confidence in the alternatives.
It may mean that I need to have to just have faith that there is a viable solution
and that even if it isn't the one we desire,
God knows what the best solution is for us.

So I would encourage you today
that when you find yourself in a position of awaiting an answer from God
that He's already on it.
He knows your heart.  He knows your needs.
He's working on it while you wait.

Patiently endure through the waiting period and at the end of it, there is bound to be blessing.

31 But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31)

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