I was fully prepared to be overwhelmed emotionally today and unsure how I would cope. Well...here's how the day went down:
3am wake up for Peyton's meds
can't get back to sleep til close to 4am
5:10am alarm goes off so I can get up for time with the Lord
5:15am alarm goes off so I can get up for time with the Lord
5:20 alarm goes off so I can get up for time with the Lord
this time I got up
7:00am Peyton wakes up and she's just not herself
all morning spend time with her doing breathing treatments, meds, etc.
worry that something isn't right
12:00pm home nurse arrives
Peyton not well...at all...call made to doctor
1:00pm or so we hit the road to the ER
Peyton admitted (view that story HERE)
5:47pm arrive at Peyton's hospital room
text Ron to tell him where we're at
9:00ish attending arrives to discuss plan for Peyton
9:30pm I am writing this
So, somewhere in the middle of all of that, a few very interesting realizations / events happened:
today is my mother's anniversary
Peyton winds up in the hospital
my focus shifts to Peyton very quickly, causing me not to get lost in grief today
I have a "thing" about butterflies where it relates to the babies I've lost
it's a very reassuring thing...lets me know we're being watched over
on way home when my mother was dying, we saw thousands of butterflies all the way home
Peyton is admitted to hospital...we get to her room....
special handmade pillowcase on her pillow looks like this:
today...on the one year anniversary of my mother's death...
after 5 years 2 months and 10 days of Peyton's life...
Ron got a call...
from Peyton's Geneticist....
where there have been absolutely zero answers as to Peyton's diagnosis...
we still don't have a definitive answer...
AS OF TODAY...
we now KNOW that Peyton has a break on chromosome 13!!!
we don't have a diagnosis...
there are more tests to be run...
but after all this time...
we now know this much!
THANK YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST. YOU ALWAYS PROVIDE. YOU NEVER FAIL.