Peyton with one of her home nurses
We've been under a tremendous amount of stress lately where our nursing agency is concerned. I've not taken it all as well as I should have. I've let things eat at me, frustrate me, and make me so stressed out that I spent a good three days last week unable to turn my head because the muscles were so tight! L-O-N-G story short, we are leaving our current agency after the shift on May 28th and are going to another agency who we feel will be better able to schedule Peyton's home nursing hours.
Leaving the agency means something pretty huge - leaving nurses who have come to know and love Peyton. It means breaking what consistency we had for the unknown in the hopes that things improve for all of us. We have three nurses who rotate through here. They're all very different from each other. They all have different personalities. They all love Peyton. It was unsettling to me to have to give them the news that we were leaving this agency - the last thing I want to do is to hurt these people. Our problem which caused us to terminate with this agency is not with the nurses at all. While they are working for a business, when you have people spending upwards of 65-70 hours a week, with a potential for 84 hours a week, it gets personal!
I'm not in the business of trying to outright hurt anyone. I just had my third opportunity to give the news to one of the nurses. This one just came back from her honeymoon and had no idea of what had transpired over the past couple weeks. At the end of it all, here is what I've found. Three nurses aren't hurt by what we are doing. Three nurses are, instead, feeling happy for us because we have the hope of a brighter future with the next agency. Three nurses are, for their own reasons, feeling ok with this decision because of what is going on in their own lives right now.
The one common theme, however, was this. Peyton. Peyton is what has kept them going through the difficult times they have had with the agency themselves. I am not sure what direction they will head after the 28th, but I will always be grateful for these women who put Peyton ahead of their own career satisfaction. To know that others have that kind of love for my child is really, truly humbling. I am thankful. I am blessed.